I had an email form a friend a while back.  Her boss had died a few months before, and it was interesting to observe her response to his death.  She’s told stories about her boss over the years, and I had the impression that she respected him but disagreed with him fairly often and was annoyed by his quirks and foibles. 

Her perspective shifted suddenly with his death.  In his absence, she realized how much she had appreciated about him. She now values his contributions to their organization and to her personally. 

After his death, the team began a project with their new leader.  They missed the flair and enthusiasm the old boss brought to such moments. The new fellow was professional and competent, but it just wasn’t the same.  They missed the fire and the passion.

On reflection, my friend saw her old boss’s quirks in a different light.  She said “maybe if you’re a visionary you’re going to ruffle a few feathers when you try to make things happen”.

In her last email, she told me that her team had an important meeting with an outside group.  They all wore red socks with their power suits.   Apparently wearing red socks was one of the quirks of their missed leader.
What struck me the most in the emails was the change in tone of her comments before and after his death.  It shifted from annoyance and frustration to appreciation and compassion.  She now sincerely appreciates the person, foibles and all, that he had been.  She recalls him with fondness and a wry smile.

I don’t think we need to wait ‘till someone dies to find that attitude.  One of my goals is to live it now.

Bookmark to: